| Why you don't succeed - Limiting Beliefs |
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Whether you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right - Henry Ford
You seriously have nothing to gain by reading the rest of this article. This article is about people that have limiting beliefs. Even if you had any, I don't think that pop new age psychology would have anything new to offer you. Especially when it comes from a site that has blue Bahama widgets on its left side. Hopefully, you also know all there is to know and that your parents, your friends and your mentors have offered you the necessary skill set to succeed in your life projects. I am sure you are SOOOOO successful that you would never need something like that. Aren't you ? What dreams may come George was a boy growing in Budapest in the 1930's. He wasn't more clever than his schoolmates and he wasn't more athletic than his friends. Children often enjoy creating fantastic worlds where they take the roles of policemen, soldiers and great sport heroes. However, when George returned to his home after school, he ran to his room and dreamt one of the most unusual things: He dreamt of being God. The years passed by and George lived to see a War devastating his country and destroying most of Europe. When the war came to an end, his family decided that it was time to sent their son to study. His father gave him some money that an aunt had left them and sent him off to the West. The money were enough for the journey, but once he was there he would be on his own. He was 17 years old, when he took the train that brought him to London. However, England was hardly an easy life. He changed one odd part time job after the other and at some point he found himself working at a restaurant, eating leftover profiteroles in order to sustain himself. He was broke and and he was lonely. While sitting in front of a half finished beer he thought to himself: "Here I am. I have reached bottom. Isn’t that a wonderful feeling? There’s only one way to go from here." In 1949, he was accepted in the London School of Economics. Using his savings and a scholarship he managed to acquire, he took his degree with quite good grades. After completing his studies, he took a job as a bank investment banker and after a short time working there, he decided that it was to time to move to New York city. The year that George started working as a broker in NY was 1956. Enter the time capsule.
Tuesday Afternoon, 15 September 1992 - England.The sterling is plummeting at an amazing rate. The whole government wakes up to find out that their precious pound is under attack.
Wednesday, 10 September 1992, 5:00 PM - In the global markets the british pound is caving in, being sold at impressive volumes. The government is caught up in a panic and in a desperate move it tries to change the interest rates. No go: PM John Major starts calling its European partners begging for support.
Black Wednesday, 10 September 1992 - After having spent more than 15 billion pounds from a total of 44 billion of its foreign currency reserve, Britain fails to support the pound. While the pound continues to plummet, Norman Lamont, the Chancellor of the Exchequer, appears before the cameras and admits publicly defeat. At the other side of the Atlantic, one man sits back in his chair and smiles. He has just won the biggest bet of his life: He sold 10 billion pounds in less than one hour and as a result he brought the ex-world's currency to its knees. From that bold move, George Soros AKA The Man Who Broke The Bank of England, made a staggering 1 billion dollars only for himself. He no longer played God. He was God. Beliefs Beliefs are rules that help us navigate our way through life. They function like fences and help us find our way in this vast and complicated place we call world. They help us economise energy and every time we wish to take a quick decision, they serve us as a guide. Imagine a world without beliefs where, every time we would have to take a decision, we would have to re-explore everything from scratch. However, not all beliefs are helpful. Many of them have been given to us by society and restrict the way we move, while others have been put there by ourselves, completely by error. As this site loves social life examples, here are some: - Men won't love me because I have extra kilos. - I will never meet the love of my life at a bar. - You cannot make new friends on the street. - In order to get pretty women you must be at least rich. - People never change. You can't teach an old dog new tricks. - I can't wear that ! or.... - In order to make a lot of money you must either lack moral laws or work for many years really hard. Observe how nicely cognitive dissonance comes into action that even if you SEE someone that overcomes these rules, you STILL don't want to change your belief systems. How does the world with Limiting Beliefs looks like ?? I was only 19 years old and I was sitting at a bar with my friends. It was a sweet summer night and the city was bursting with energy. Some friend was in the middle of a joke, when something very intense happened: A beautiful blond girl appeared from nowhere and sat very close to us. Suddenly, the rest of the world disappeared and all I could see was her. Even though, I considered my self a charming guy, even though I was more athletic than most people around us, I still could not see my self going over there and talking to her. I remember thinking: "There is NO way, someone can get that girl .... She is simply from another planet." As I was thinking all that, a short guy emerged from another group and started a conversation with her and her friends. I don't know what they were talking about, all I know that he was not fit, he was not handsome and he was not as tall as me. I watched silently as the guy made her laugh, I watched in terror as she hugged him and I watched in absolute disgust when she took a paper and gave him her number. Then she left the bar. The world around me became darker. I was feeling a deep sense of failure surrounding me and I knew there was a powerful message in that. I went back at my place and spent one hour sitting on my bed while looking at the void and throwing cat biscuits to my cat, who was also having a very bad night. Then I decided, to never let this happen again. If someone does something bad to you, do not try to break it and diminish its effect. Make sure that you accept the full blow and remember next time, to do what ever passes from your hand, in order to prevent this from happening again. - An American mobster
How to overcome them - First, you have to identify them: Do a brainstorming - Decide to elimate them. For some people that will be all it will take. After you have focused on the root of your problem, do your maximum to get rid of it. - Study them so much that they will become boring, so that every time they come up you will shut them off. It worked like a charm for me. - Meet someone that shared the same belief and model the way he got over it. Choose some feat what you think impossible and find someone that achieved it. - Find a counter example where the above limiting belief doesn't stand. REMEMBER: The exception does NOT confirm the rule and all you need is ONE exception to bring the whole belief to the ground. Only one. - Take a piece of paper and write a love letter to your self. Write down all the small things your like about your self. I will call you Michel(le) as it is a transgender name. Write a letter describing who is Michel(le) and describe what small things have you succeeded up to today. Make sure you write down all of them. That, too ?? Yes, THAT too. - Now, take another piece of paper and write down a series of affirmative and empowering beliefs, that will replace your previous limiting ones. Do it even if you don't believe at them. Actually, do it ESPECIALLY if you don't believe them. It is then that works better. - Take a THIRD piece of paper and write down: "I will not do everything the guys from happybrainstorm ask me to". Now, read it backwards.
- Take small steps that will take you out of your comfort zone. Let's say that you want to start doing sports. Do not jump into heavy training from day one. Make a plan. Build your workload so progressively that would make even a stamp collector get bored. - Remember the most glorious rule of all: FAKE IT, 'TILL YOU MAKE IT. * There seems to exist an extra technique that is called Emotional Freedom Technique but I have NO clue what it does and how it works. You can Google it, search for it in the library or even talk about it with your local pizza man as there seems to be a big buzz about it on the net. No idea what so ever. Outro One good friend of mine used to be afraid of heights. One day he decided he was so fed up with it that he decided to change. He chased his fear, he challenged him self so much that he finally managed to overcome it. However, it was still quite a surprise for me, when one day, I learned that he had become a base jumper. He had changed so much, that he was now braver than most people. A few days ago, I found the following video and as I was watching it, I realised this: The guy on the video has never stopped challenging his beliefs for what is humanly possible or not. The only difference from my friend is that he started from a different point. Isn't it great to know that our beliefs can be changed and we can bring our dreams closer ?? Ze Bibliography
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