A man in a suit is entering a hotel, his heart is beating like crazy and his hands are sweaty. This is the moment he has been waiting for: in less than five minutes, he will meet the person that holds the keys for the biggest deal of his life. On the other end of the corridor, an elder man is watching him. What our friend doesn't know is that his future boss has already formed an opinion about him.
At the very exact same moment, in some remote location, a man is sitting at a bar. Next to him, two women are drinking their cocktails. From all angles they look lovely: their legs are crossed revealing their thighs and their dresses are fighting to hide their beautiful curves. Our friend's mouth is dry, his blood is boiling, and a nasty group of hormones has just announced to the brain that there is going to be a party up there. While he is approaching them, his mind is doing mental gymnastics trying to find out what he should say and what he should hide. However, he is not aware that the girls have already formed an opinion about him and it hasn't to do about the clothes he is wearing.
Non verbal communication is everywhere: In every move you make, in every step you take, and yes, in every breath you take. People judge you within the first 20 seconds that you appear in their sight. Their opinion is based 93% on the way you present your self and only 7% on what you actually say. Most women will decide whether they like you or not, in less than 20 seconds. This will buy you the next one minute, which will buy you the next five minutes, which will buy you a decent flirting time window.
So you better not fail at this one.
People always measure people around them and try to what is their position in the chain of command ?? What is their social status and how should they conform to that ??
This article is about the rules, old as humanity, that decide whether a person looks socially important or not. Bear in mind, however, that these habits won't change in one night: you have to practice them every day and every hour in order to change the way you carry yourself around.
The Rules
Voice
1) Be a bit louder than most people. No need for screaming but a tiny louder will do the trick.
2) Speak slowly and use plenty _ of _ pauses. Take vocal space in the minds of the people that listen to you. Make a mark. Don't go unnoticed.
3) Your pitch and your tone of voice must resonate from the chest and not from the nose. This is a long post but, for the moment, keep in mind that different frequencies resonate at different body areas.
4) Hit at least two tones. Monotones is death for the speaker.
Body Language
1) Take space. Own your space around you without trying too hard. Don’t stand around like making an excuse for being there.
2) Move slowly. Cut your speed at half. He, who, moves the least in an interaction is the leader.
3) Stand up straight, like if someone was holding your head with a cord. The top of your spine is not your neck but the top of your head. So, keep your spine straight up. Shoulders should be down and relaxed. Perform slow hand movements. Avoid jerky movements. If you want more information on correct posture training, you can read Alexander Technique which is an excellent way of learning body language.
4) Remember to smile from times to times. Your true smile.
5) Keep eye contactwith people around you. If you have to remember something, remember just that.
Relax. It's contagious.
Now watch one of the best and most inspiring actors of all time speaking with a very beautiful woman in the second part of the next video.
Marlon Brando IS known to be one of the best womanizers partly because of his body language. As he is commenting in another film this in not by luck... :)
What happens in this video is text book Seduction. If there are people among you interested in seduction, watch this video because you can see a master performing in front of a camera. It is amazing how he never answers the question he was asked for, how he uses the pause, how he uses triangular gazing, how he holds eye contact , how he sexualises the conversation, how he qualifies and how he sends mixed signals to miss USA.
Simply amazing.
It is impossible for you to remember all these rules consciously all the time. A person can hold in his mind only seven pieces of information. They have to be practiced and they can be internalised in less than a month of good work. Here is a way to train your body language.
If you want to really learn everything there is to know about body language you should get the classic book of body language by Alan Pease.
In that book, you can learn:
How to make an excellent impression on others
How to interview and negotiate with success
How to bond quickly with others and how to co-operate with them
How to tell a lier
How to quickly read between the lines of what is said
How to use body language to get to your goal
How to read love signs and power plays:
The Head Toss and Hair Flick
Wet Lips and Pouting, Mouth Slightly Open
Exposed Wrists
Sideways Glance Over Raised Shoulder
Handbag in Close Proximity
The Shoe Fondle
How to avoid having the wrong body language in certain situations
*We Speak England Very Best* Disclaimer
We may write in English but no one in this site is a native English speaker.Hey Jim? How do you spell New York, Jim?
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