Mental TOUGHNESS training, how to become tough - and what has A MULE to DO WITH IT ?

Will is what can make you succeed when your thoughts tell you that you're defeated. Will is a force which is the true link between men and the world.

~ Carlos Castaneda

Once upon a time there was an old mule. During his entire life, he was working for a farmer. The mule was quite old and he could no longer carry as much weight as he could when he was younger, nor he could see as well as when he was younger. So, one day he took a wrong step and fell into a well. The well was deep but the fall didn't kill him. The farmer heard the screams of the mule coming from the bottom of the well and ran to see what was happening. He immediately understood the seriousness of the situation. The well was too deep and too dry and the mule was too old and too heavy. There and then, he took a cold blooded decision: neither the well, nor the mule were worthy of saving. So, he and his friends decided to bury the poor animal, to spare it from its suffering.

They grabbed several shovels and started shoveling to cover the well once and for all.

When the mule understood what was happening, he became furious! He started kicking and screaming but nothing seemed to stop the farmers from shoveling.

As the dirt was hitting him, his mind started racing when ... an idea struck him. Every time the dirt would hit him on the back, he would shake it off and step up! And so he did, blow after blow. "Shake it off, and step up ... Shake it off, and step up ... shake it off and step up !" It didn't take long for the old mule when, exhausted and battered, he came out of that well.

Never, ever in his entire life had the farmer been as surprised as he was that day.

What is mental toughness and why is it that important ?

Most humans will do everything in their reach to avoid pain and suffering. They will go at great lengths to make sure that they will never feel cold, alone, hurt, stressed, menaced, scared, or simply tired. This is a normal human reflex. However, this pain avoidance behavior can also become their own trap. A trap that closes on them so slowly that they do not even notice it.

There are so many men and women in modern societies that have grown up in protective pockets and cannot get out of their comfort zones. As a result , they can never cross the pain barrier that separates them from the jar with the cookies. Their pain avoidance blocks their happiness.

It can be safely said that much of the western world is spoiled to some extent. Spoiled by loving mothers and fathers, who after WWII decided to offer their offsprings anything they could get their hands on. Spoiled by modern way of living that no longer needs from us to work with our bear hands outdoors, as it was necessary to do for thousand years ago. We remain trapped for the rest of our lives within a protective cocoon that sadly becomes our prison.

This doesn't mean that modern living cannot be harsh. It can, but as pain avoidance seems to be the first criterion for life achievement we will never get off the tub until the hot water becomes cold. We thus become easy guided and manipulated. Like a stock of sheep that wants to eat the grass at the other hill but it is too afraid of the Sheppard dogs, we all move towards the same directions and we all do the same things. This happens not because we do not question what is outside our reach, but because we are too bored to face the dogs.

Can it be, that you too are a spoiled child ? Chances are that you are ...

Two antipodes: Mentally Tough VS Mentally Spoiled

There exists a Chinese saying: "Races never get extinct because of a blade, it is good times that wipes them out". Any closer look to most great civilizations fadeout can show that those civilizations got wiped out either because they were too lazy or because the gave up, with Romans, Greeks and certain Southern American great civilizations being the first example to come in memory ....

What about modern spoiled children ? Well, they are everywhere. If you are not one of them, you will probably know a handful of them. They are the ones that crack under pressure. They are the ones that cannot stand a lot of negative feelings, because all of their life was spent inside a warm bath tub. They mostly motivate themselves either by trying to avoid failure or by promising some pleasure. They are more orientated to perceptions and a challenge means only trouble to them.

On the other hand you have some that are more mentally tough. They have what is known as intrinsic motivation, a desire to be self determining, to be a self starter, to push your self to the edge for the good of your task, sport or own good. They keep motivation and direct their effort toward achieving challenging goals. They remain determined even when things get difficult. It is those people that are willing to go through fire, in order to get their things done. This is what drives people to make it through sickness, through fatigue, through fear in order to achieve their goals.

Mentally tough people, develop what Bandura used to call self efficacy. A general feeling that anything is possible for them, that no cookie is too far, that no dream is out of reach.

Imagine having the focus and belief that no matter how difficult a task may seem, you will succeed at it in the end. A "We can do anything", mentality is what is needed here. Mentally tough people, maintain composure even under pressure, while the word 'quit' doesn't exist in their vocabulary. Do you remember a Michael Jordan exhausted from influenza, when in '97 Finals he kept playing only to collapse right after the match? This is the element that built his success, this is what can make you cross the cold river to the other side.

Mental toughness, is also resilience to suffering. People that have been exposed to hard times in younger ages are known to be more resilient to misery. They will be more tolerant to pain. This is why you find more boxing clubs in ghettos. However, a tough child hood can come at a cost, as it can carry many self limiting and depressive memories which along with a lack of education, creates unsuccessful people instead of high achievers. If that was not the case, the planet would be run by slum dog millionaires.

The question that I used to ask my self, is this one:

Can you build mental toughness ?

Modern peak performance has shown that not only you can, but you should also actively try to do it. The biggest gun in your arsenal is a psychology method known as progressive desensitization. A progressive exposure to whatever pain and suffering you want to become resilient to, while pursuing your goals, is the best way to become more mentally tough.

Mental tough training

So, how can you become more mentally tough ?

- Set a goal. Everyone has a dream, they want to achieve. Without a goal, you can never have the motivation and the necessary drive to withstand pain., rejection and fatigue.

- Visualize yourself being there. If you haven't seen your self winning in your mind before you start a campaign, the chances you are going to win are slim to none. People that succeed, first see themselves succeeding, because this brings solid rock belief. You start believing only, when you start seeing. When you believe that something is possible then motivation becomes the most amazing driving force. Never, ever let your self visualizing negative scenarios. EVER. There are only two allowed situations for you mind: a) Being in the now, with no memory or imagination or b) Imagining yourself winning. Anything out of that is detrimental for your success.

- Get out of your comfort zone and be happy about it. This will learn you to treat problems as challenges. Every day seek for one slight and one major discomfort. When you find them, be happy about it. These petty tyrants can teach you many things by doing three simple things: a) Enjoy yourself as you venture into a new zone of discomfort and thus pushing your boundaries, b) See how you can overcome this obstacle and c) Find out how to avoid that obstacle all together next time.

- Cool down, instead of hyping up. Tests have shown one critical difference between successful athletes and ordinary men and women: when men have been presented a stressful situation top level athletes focus, showing a meditation like brain behavior while ordinary people speed up and end up getting panicked.

- Learn how to focus and connect with the task at hand. This is not time to thing about consequences and other things. Look at the ball, and nothing but the ball.

- Talk to your self positively. Make sure that you become your own coach. Many spoiled people have gained the bad habit of making bad thoughts. This is a lazy reaction coming from old times where their mommy and daddy would run for their rescue saying, "No, sweet y do not worry, you will make it" and they would have to wine a bit more until the energy invested by their parents would stabilize them. Well, guess what. The cavalry ain't coming anymore. You have to become your own coach. Negative thoughts are useless, so kick them out.

Little sweet story - Shackleton

Once upon a time there was a tough explorer, and his story is a true story of the rewards and risks of exploration.

In 1914 Shackleton set off to cross Antarctica from sea to sea, via the South Pole. Over 5000 applied to be on his crew - including 'three sporty girls'. They left England in 1914. After stopping in Buenos Aires and South Georgia they departed for the Weddell Sea. All was going well until ... his ship became trapped by ice.

And it got worse ... the Endurance got crushed by the ice and sank.

Not good.

The crew survived for 9 months with no heat, no shelter and no Internet. They were tough. When the ice thawed, the crew hastily abandoned all non-essential supplies and headed for land in 3 lifeboats.After seven days of voyage fraught with peril and appalling icy conditions ... they arrived at the desolate Elephant island.

It was the first time they had set foot on land since leaving South Georgia nearly one and a half years earlier, but ... Elephant island was a *seriously* inhospitable place far from any shipping routes and thus a poor location to await rescue. Within a few days of their arrival, Shackleton decided to fetch help.

In one life boat, Shackleton departed on the very last day before the pack ice closed back again.

Their journey involved crossing 800 miles of the world's most inhospitable ocean in the depths of the Antarctic winter. After 16 days they arrived off South Georgia during hurricane conditions.

Help was only 20 miles away, at the whaling stations of the east side of the island but ... they had to cross mountains that no one had ever penetrated before!

Against incredible odds and on the only moonlit night before bad weather closed back again Shackleton made it to the whaling station of Stromness in 36 hours.

It took 4 months and 4 attempts before Shackleton rescued the remaining men. Including Frank Hurley, the expedition photographer that took over 120 photographs of that journey.

120 photographs of people doing the impossible.