How to get someone to do you a favor WITHOUT ever asking about it
Get someone to do you a favor
Picture this. You want a colleague of yours to do you a favor but you don't want to ask for it. There are many reasons why you may want it to be that way, not of all are nice and not of all are honest and not with that order necessarily. Now, is there any way to make someone do you a favor without ever asking about it or even suggesting it? If you have already visited this site before, then you must be familiar with the words psychological manipulation. For those that haven't been exposed to this type of methods, I would say not to read this article as it may be a bit overcomplicated for your tastes. Try this, instead.
Manipulation is a world of smoke and mirrors so well hidden from the surface world that very few people know it even exists. Those that do, they make sure they keep their mouths shut and they use it to control our lives, suggest our tastes and guide us to do things we would never do if we had the opportunity to think about them twice. How easily can you get a girl's number ?? How deep is the rabbit hole ?? These, clearly very important questions, shall not be answered now, so let's get back to our trivial challenge. How on earth can you get Glen, your lovely co-worker, do all the dirty job and make him feel proud he did it?
Ze five step trick
1) Start by commenting how impressed you were last time he solved another similar problem. Make a conversation where you will remind him that no problem or challenge has ever gone unsolved from his hands. Reframe everything he says towards that direction. This is an important step as it will remind him that he is capable of resolving any situation he meets...
2) Present him with the goal you want to achieve. Use positive words and suggest a positive attitude towards it.
3) Guide, our friend Glen, to make a positive remark towards the outcome you want to achieve. Ask him "Wouldn't be great if we could have X achieved?". He must say "Yes" in order to move on from there. Will he say yes? Well some strange psychological God makes sure that he always does. It has been proven through experiments that people like to maintain the psychological momentum. If they are positive towards something they will continue to be positive towards that, even if it turns out to be a more awkward than they thought in the first place. There is a name for that but it is not nice so we decided not to use it.
4) Provoke dissonance.Now, this is the most counter intuitive effect. Tell him it is IMPOSSIBLE to find a solution for that problem. Make sure you emphasize that nobody has ever solved this.
5) Now, step back and shut up. If the above are done right and you didn't look creepy, by telegraphing too much interest through eye contact, then things might actually start looking nice for you. The combination of the above will create cognitive dissonance and as a result he will try to resolve it. He wants something that he cannot get and this, for most people, is something inadmissible. Even more, his whole EGO will go on overdrive to prove himself worthy of solvying that problem. In eighty percent of the cases I've encountered the above trick works like a charm. In the rest it doesn't even get registered. In anycase you have nothing to lose. Now, if you want to amplify this, you can add two important steps.
6) Ask him if he is sure he wants to do it. He must say "I will do it". This is the equivalent of a signature on a dotted line and it will GUARANTEE you that he will hold his word and will actually try to help you.
7) Now you can ask him to do something even more awkward as it has been proved by Foot-in-the-door technique (Freedman & Fraser, 1966). People that have agreed for a smaller yes are more likely to respond positevely to a bigger yes. For more information you may have a look here. In that amazing experiment, people complied to do something more extreme just because they had agreed to do something easier in the first place.
Small story
I used to work in the same office with a guy that was very good with computers. At that time I needed badly someone to install a specific operating system (OS) on my computer. So I opened a conversation with the guy, telling him how impressed I was when I realised he had managed to install a UNIX OS on his Macintosh laptop. He told me that he had never failed with these things even if he had to fight for a whole weekend. He smiled. I smiled even more, but I guess it was not for the same reason. A bird came and sat just outside our window. We fluffed a bit about different operating systems and then I told him that a friend of mine had heard some really good words about this new type of OS. He agreed and added it was amazing. I smiled once more. Then I told him that two of my most tech savvy friends tried to installed it on my laptop but they failed impressively. "It is impossible, they told me". Silence. "It seems that no one has EVER succeeded installing it on that particular model", I added and looked out, towards the bird, that looked at me and decided to fly away in search of something nicer to look at. He then, slowly, spelled out the magic words....: "Why don't you let me have a look at it." I wished the bird was there to see my NEW smile.
That I knew it already. I have a lot of work and I cannot afford talking to everyone and writing a new comment reply can be a load. Especially for people that do not know the answers in that kind of matters. I will answer to Jim only if he does me a favor. I will answer to Jim in some time. I don't know when.
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Ok, I stop the roleplaying. Imagine if you didn't ask for a question, imagine you where asking for a colluege of yours to help you with some important paper work and he was an egomaniac, selfish guy. This and the previous answer where meant to show that people are not always willing to help, they are not always going to do it for free and they will may 'toy' with you before they give you what you want. If the person is a good, healthy character then by all means the obvious answer is to ask them directly for the favor. However, in some environments you may meet individuals who think that by asking them a favor you are in debt to them. THOSE individuals may answer you NO for the sheer satisfaction of answering no and they may put you in a waiting list. It is as form of social game that people play. During the time you are on the waiting list they may ask you waaay more favors before they give you what you want.
Wow, that is a really good answer. Personally I was thinking from my perspective. I hate to ask favors, plain and simple. I feel really akward, i even have to push myself to actually ask. I hadn't even thought of that scenario.
One problem--you sell your integrity for all these "favors" by having to create a variety of scenarios which are nothing more than lies ("so and so tried, but said it couldn't be done ...". Favors done immediately and without direct request is your only price but you lose far more in the exchange.
i wouldnt say your selling your intergrity. If you read the example i gave, i have a hard time asking for favors. This is a way around that block (and others, like annoying companions that will intentionally not help you just to watch you squirm)
Basically its just another way of getting done what needs to be done (yes it could be misused, but whats the worst that could happen?)
and what do u do if u want to get your partner to take somewhere that he deffinately doesnt want to go how do u ask a favor without asking in this matter???
Please give us a bit more details: change the names of the areas or the persons but makes us understand what kind of person are we talking about, what activity and what is your relationship with him/her ?
*We Speak England Very Best* Disclaimer
We may write in English but no one in this site is a native English speaker.Hey Jim? How do you spell New York, Jim?
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. Favors done immediately and without direct request is your only price but you lose far more in the exchange. 
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