| How to say NO to someone with out any feeling of GUILT whatsoever - social coaching |
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How many times has someone asked you some kind of favor and you hesitated to give NO as an answer? Mmmmmm? Tell me, how many? Even for those among you, that have been brave enough to say no, usually you felt a slight feeling of guilt. Well, to make it even worse, psychology says that the person you said no to, feels you owe him something. It is like a subliminal debt and debts are bad - in any form that they may come. There is quirky and simple way to turn the game around.
The two step process goes like that. *When you say NO, make sure you use the word BECAUSE. I know it sounds dumb but subliminally the word 'because' attaches a reason to whatever follows after. Before you start to laugh think about politics. How often have you heard the word BECAUSE in politics? Quite often i could say. That is because people that write political speeches are aware of subliminal commands and they make use of them constantly. *The second and most important step is the counter strike. The counter strike goes like this: After you say no, make sure to ask another small favor from that person. The favor should be something sligthly difficult to accomplish that would never be satisfied. As he will be forced to say NO, he will subliminally erase your debt. .
Personal example: George was a nice but quite boring chap. We had common social circles and we would bump to each other quite often in different social gatherings. At some point he decided that we should go out more often. The problem was that I had more interesting things to do. Two or three times he called me and invited me to one of his house parties. Those parties were full of SUPER boring people. So, after my second denial to his invitations, i started to feel that I was now obliged to him and I knew that, if he called me a third time, I would have to accept. So I called him and asked him to go out with me on two different days: - A Tuesday, were I knew he could not go out because he had to wake up early the other day - Another day, when I knew he had already something arranged. After his double no, he felt also a bit guilty but now we were even. We stopped calling each other but when we met we could always continue to chat without a heavy feeling floating on the air, something that would happen if I was the only one that had said a no. Side note: Social manipulation is not good but sure makes life simpler.
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tat is a great article thanks 
