| Standing up for your RIGHTS - Assertiveness training |
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Bloody hell. What is wrong with some people? I was in the metro today and I witnessed one of the most IDIOT fights I've ever seen in my 456 year old life. A clumsy guy came inside and started pushing other people. I think that it wasn't his intention: he just didn't manage to stand up properly. For more than ten minutes he kept pushing people around and being clumsily obnoxious. Next to him, was standing a short guy and you could see him getting mad from a mile away. You know, there are many ways of getting mad.
He was the kind that if you step on his toe, he will go like a gentleman and rent something yellow. Then he will take that 1 ton, bulldozer looking yellow and run over your house. I think that the fight lasted approximately 1min and 45sec from coming to blows to landing on the train floor. A bloody train floor by the way. Assertiveness course Before we get into the nuts of bolts of it, what does assertiveness exactly mean?? I was for a drink with my good friend Wikipedia the other day, when she told me: "Listen to me Lion, assertiveness is to express your own feelings in an honest and respectful way that does NOT insult people and to STAND UP for your rights while you know what you say is not the only valid truth. Now, I am going to the bar, do you want another beer??" Now when it has to do with reacting to something bad that someone did to us, there are also two other reactions apart from assertiveness: Being submissive: Submissive behavior means shying away from saying what you really mean and not seeking to achieve your needs, particularly when someone else has conflicting needs. Being aggressive:
Aggressive behavior means standing up for your rights, but in a way that violates the rights of other people. It is like someone comes at your house entrance and insults you. Then you start chasing him around and as you chase him you get into HIS house and beat him up. Wow. Chill out mate because you've crossed the line there. Now, YOU became the aggressor. Assertive people, on the other hand, feel equal to others, they don't seek to dominate or be dominated (well except if you find a thrill at bed with that), they are responsible for their own actions and communication schemes and finally, they feel it is OK to disagree with others. It is not possible to arrive to an agreement EVERY time. Nuts and bolts of being assertive - assertiveness training Establish a good eye contact, use a deep, slow voice and adopt a confident body language.
Describe the behavior. Explain to the other person what he does wrong or how he should do it right. Keep the ball at his court. It is better to tell the other person how he should act than how he should NOT act. Describe how bad HIS behavior makes YOU feel By doing that you establish a good communication. You make the other know how YOU feel Describe to him the broader effects of his actions. This can include: how his behavior influences your relationship or how it disturbs his communication with others. If after all you told him, he or she still doesn't seem to get it, try to stay away from him as possible. He will understand why this happens because you have already told him. STAY tuned: Now if you have any ideas and you would like to discuss this or something else you can always contact me: Pigeon hole 3546HGF. Please before you send your message, make sure that you have fed WELL your pigeon. I am NOT responsible for feeding YOUR pigeon. I feel very bad when I receive ill and tired pigeon and surely doesn't help THEM a lot.
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