Happy Brain Storming

Simple non dangerous tips to Be happier NOW - NLP life coaching

You probably have met so many people in your life. That is good. How many of them were happy? How many of them found happiness without the use of drugs, alcohol or any other external, dangerous 'help'? The other day I talked to this stunning female and she told me stories of her life. She had just gratuated from a prestigious architecture university, she danced salsa like no one else and when she entered a room half of the male population would turn their heads to have a look at her. But still, she was not happy. Why?

I mean people are extremely similar in form and in essence. If you think that you are unique then you will be surprised to learn that there are ....

6,656,577,594

... other people that think, walk and feel just like you and me on this planet. In other words you are like me.Most people are very extrovert when it has to do with sharing information about the X, Y or Z technological hack but they are extremely shy when it has to do with their inner world. I bet that you haven't realised yet that when you are in the same room with other people you share EXACTLY the same fears and hopes with most of them. Instead you sit inside your small head and you try to find solutions for the same challenges and problems that every man and woman have been struggling with, since the day Adam and Hot Eve sat down and smoked a joint together.Don't try to re-invent the Wheel because it has already been done.

[True. And I know the guy that tried to patent it. Amazing guy with very interesting haircut.]

The Inner Game ( Not The One of Tennis )

So let's call it a Game: The goal of the game is to be happier and to get what you want from life. Here comes the question: How do you handle your inner feelings and how do you manage your thoughts? You need 21 days to set a habit. If you decide that today is your day one and you keep for 21 days concentrating and constantly guiding your thoughts then, chances are that you will find your self richer and happier after those first 21 days.

1) Do the positivity drill There was an amazing experiment done some time ago. What they did is, they took a big group of university students and strapped a microphone to their clothes for 24 hours. Whenever the student was having a thought then he/she had to vocalise it. At they end of the day, they counted the number of positive and negative thoughts they had made. They found out that for a normal person the ratio of negative to positive thoughts is around 80/20. Yet, even with this grim ratio we manage to stay fairly positive through out our day. What if you would be able to enhance that? Mmmmm? Wouldn't it be better? [ By the way if you want the number of the guy with the haircut, I can give you his email if you promise me you will not tell. Promise? ] SUMMARY: Take the trash out of your head.

2) Adopt empowering beliefs

My grandma believes in God. I am not in a position to judge if God really exists or not. But the fact that my grandma went through a war with five children and she coped with poverty with a huge smile in her face, makes me wonder. Because of her beliefs, she was sure that things would come out well. Amazing Grandma. I am not saying you have to do the same. But if you decide to believe that you are the best and you live everyday with that thought, it will become a self fulfilling prophecy. If you BELIEVE at that it will change your life as beliefs have a deep impact on our neurology.

3) Embrace the Power of Now

This comes from the revolutionary book of Eckhart Tolle, "The Power of Now". What he propose is very simple. Silence your internal dialog. Stop thinking and look around you. Come out of your head. Really observe the world around you. Because most of the time you are lost in past memories and non existent future scenarios. Silence them all and live in the now. Accept the now as it is and if you don't like it do your maximum to change it. If not just accept it. But be in the now. Because it is all that ever existed. Every past memory you have is a past now that you remember. [Duh] You remember it though because at that moment you were not day dreaming but you were fully present. If you walk your everyday life and focus on the moment you are in, it is inevitable that you will always be your best at the moment you are in NOW. If you think back and you remember some intense moments in your life where something happened or when you went for vacations you were always out of your head and fully present. It was good, wasn't it?

4) Force yourself to seek and find the good in all people around you

Remember that there aren't ANY bad people: People's end goals are always positive : To be happier, to survive, to help others, to provoke happier feelings to them selves etc. What is often flawed, it's the STRATEGY they choose to achieve those end goals. So, blame the game: NOT the player. Learn how to separate strategies from intentions and try to find the good end goal to their game. However, if their strategy is energy consuming for you, you have your right to decide to keep them away and save your energy money for more rewarding friends... Every person has a positive side. Search for it. So, starting by today, go out and try to find those positive end goals or even positive strategies at all people around you. Do that for some time and you will not only find yourself liking people more, but you will also end up with more friends all together. It is exactly like the half empty, half full glass example. By accepting people as they are, people will like you even more.

5) Use only positive words to describe the world around you

You see, there is an old man with a moustache that lives in your subconscious. Maybe you haven’t been told about that, but this is the truth. I am your friend. I tell you everything. Because after all you are like me. Every time you make use of a negative word, either by thinking of it or by saying it loud, the old man (Who is called by the way, John. Aren't they all? ) opens a vault and takes out all the negative images and memories you have connected to that word. Good thing is that the subconscious does not understand the negation so you can go around that. Look at the phrase. “This is not pretty. I don’t feel very happy”. Look again. “This is ugly. I feel a bit depressed”. They both mean the same. But…. The first is neutral; It does not carry the emotional baggage of the second one.

5.55555) Reframe everything as positive. Think positively whatever the case may be.

Emotions are energy that is trapped in the body provoked by thoughts. Learn how to guide those thoughts. The more positive thoughts you have, the more happy you will be. Learn how to reframe every problem as a challenge and how to turn everything to something more positive. You see we don't really 'see' the real world: What we percieve as 'reality' is only a model of reality that has been filtered through our neurology and beliefs. Much information has been deleted, distorted, transformated and overgeneralised. What you think as true is actually not true to another person on this globe. This means that even if something doesn't seem true, believe at it as long as it is EMPOWERING. It will become a Self Fulfilling Prophecy and it will come to life. I once met a guy that was not only very short but also quite bald :). However, he believed he was far more interesting and sexy than any other guy. As a result, every time he would meet a pretty lady he communicated that thought and sooner or later that lady started to believe at that also. That guy managed to have more ladies than any of his fit and athletic friends. Adopt EMPOWERING befiefs even if they don't seem true. Be Always Positive.

5.6) Ask yourself why A very powerful technique is to ask yourself why do you feel a certain way. The moment you identify the source of the problem things get better. You have now heard your subconscious and you have a coscious choice for either doing something about it or for ignoring it. In either case the energy (feelings) has been liberated and you are no longer prisoner of your feelings. Happy freedom!

6) Make a plan for your life goals Not having a plan in your life is like driving a car on the highway with no map or sense of direction. You are driving fast and you are passing by all these exits. You imagine to what destinations they would have led you to if you had taken them, but at that point, it is already too late as you have passed by. However, you keep driving and looking at those exits signs, while listening to the radio and watching the other fellow cars at the highway. I do have some worrying news for you, though: You have no map my friend, you don't know when the car will break down and you have no idea when it will run out of fuel. What the bad news are? It may be at any moment. Get a freaking map.

The next three tips, they all come together from the best book ever: Carlos Castaneda's "Journey to Ixtlan". There are so many advices on personal development in that book that we should baptise it as the Bible of the Living.

7) Use Death as an Advisor This is crazy but bear with me, it is life changing. Any survivor of cancer can tell you about it. In one phrase Live your every moment as if it were your last. As Castaneda says: The issue of our death is never pressed far enough. Death is the only wise adviser that we have. Whenever you feel, as you always do, that everything is going wrong and you're about to be annihilated, turn to your death and ask if that is so. Your death will tell you that you're wrong; that nothing really matters outside its touch. Your death will tell you, "I haven't touched you yet." For the next moment I would advice you to pay close attention. Put some strong music on. Switch off the telephone. Chase the cat off. And read on what the amazing Castaneda said. Imagine one time that you were stressed about something. Anything. You don't have time for this display. This, whatever you're doing now, may be your last act on earth. It may very well be your last battle. There is no power which could guarantee that you are going to live one more minute. If this were your last battle on earth, I would say that you are an idiot. You are wasting your last act on earth in some stupid mood. You have no time, my friend, no time. None of us have time. Don't just agree with me. Act upon it. What I recommend you to do is to notice that we do not have any assurance that our lives will go on indefinitely. Change comes suddenly and unexpectedly, and so does death. There are some people who are very careful about the nature of their acts. Their happiness is to act with the full knowledge that they don't have time; therefore, their acts have a peculiar power.

Acts have power. Especially when the person acting knows that those acts are his last battle. There is a strange consuming happiness in acting with the full knowledge that whatever one is doing may very well be one's last act on earth. I recommend that you reconsider your life and bring your acts into that light. You don't have time, my friend. That is the misfortune of human beings. None of us have sufficient time. Your acts cannot possibly have the flair, the power, the compelling force of the acts performed by a man who knows that he is fighting his last battle on earth.

8) Take full responsibility of your actions When a man decides to do something he must go all the way, but he must take responsibility for what he does. No matter what he does, he must know first why he is doing it, and then he must proceed with his actions without having doubts or remorse about them.

9) Lose your sense of Self Importance Don't take yourself too seriously, don't be so damn important in your own mind. That must be changed! If you are too important then you feel justified to be annoyed with everything. You can not afford to leave if things don't go your way. If you let go your ego then it will be easier to go around your everyday life. You will be happier.

10) Always remember the GOLDEN LAW of human relations: People like you because of the way you make them FEEL.

11) Unwrup Automatic thoughts Automatic thoughts are shortcuts your mind has learned to take through the years. From a situation A you have learned to take the path that guides to F and because you've done it many times, you've now learned to jump from A to F. For example a girl wants to have a boyfriend but now she doesn't have one. One day she is watching a happy couple at the street and she starts thinking that she would like to feel like that. She decides that she don't like couples because of the previous thought. She now repeats the same pattern again and again until some time later she finds her mind jumping from watching couples to remembering that she does not have a boyfriend. Shortcuting thoughts is a way your mind has to access faster information, as without it we would be paralyzed. However, you must be aware that some times your mind can also work against you and you must be able to inverse that process. REMEMBER: YOU are the one to choose. There are ways to unravel those 'automatic thoughts' and this can be done by resisting our self to fell in the same pattern while forcing the opposite, happier outcome in our visualisations.

1) Use positive images to guide your wayWhatever the situation, whatever the stakes in order for you to ask improvement from your subconscious you should do it in form of positive images. That doesn't mean going around and thinking of bunnies and teddy bears. It means that the movies you imagine in your head should have a happy ending. The more you do it the better results you will get.

13) Let your self be human Permit yourself to make mistakes, cry, be happy, un happy or unsatisfied. It has been proven that people that accept their human nature are generally happier than the rest that think that being unhappy is abnormal. There is often a misconseption in people minds that there are 'good' and 'bad' feelings. This is not true. Feelings is energy coming from your thoughts. Accept those feelings and find out what is there that bothers the sweet, little child that lives inside your self. Happiness will come to your life if you accept the fact that some times you will not be happy. We are ALL children deep inside and all we want is to PLAY. Be playful.